It has been four months since the Red Wings have drank cheap champagne out of Lord Stanley's mug, and with the last two cup winners coming out of the Western Conference things should be looking up in the west. West coast teams have gotten younger and better. Chicago's Duo of Towes and Kane have the potential to develop into the upper tier of talent in the league. Phoenix looks to have turned a corner, and could finally put out a team that doesn't make Wayne Gretzky look like a shitacular coach. Edmonton seems to be every one's favorite pick to make noise in the west, but is the talent really there?
Well just like Monday, lets have a quick look at the Western Conference.
15. Los Angeles Kings
A team of nobodies in the city of stars. This should change when Jay Leno books the wrong Jack Johnson onto the tonight show.
14. Nashville Predators
Karma finally catches up to fuck up Nashville. Their owner is a crook, and a quick move to Hamilton is slowly creeping up.
13. Columbus Blue Jackets
10th NHL season. Great Hockey Fans. Zero playoff appearances. 100% Fucked
12. St Louis Blues
Hey what could go wrong when your leading scorer is Brad Boyes. Oh where, oh where, has Paul Kariya gone?
11. Minnesota Wild
When its that frigging cold, no wonder all their players are heading to warmer climates. Look for Marian Gaborik to jump ship before the deadline and score a goal a game.
10. Colorado Avalanche
Speaking of freezing your ass off, too bad their goaltending resembles a funeral parlour.
9. Phoenix Coyotes
The sexy Sarah Palin pick. Too bad she'll fall short too. At least they aren't a giant cunt.
8. Vancouver Canucks
Best back end and goaltending in the league. Unfortunately they had to give the C to Luongo to prevent a Sedin bitch fight.
7. Calgary Flames
2003 Todd Bertuzzi: hated by everyone in Calgary for being a bad ass. 2009 Todd Bertuzzi: Hated by everyone in Calgary for being a fat-ass.
6. Chicago Blackhawks.
Somewhere over the rainbow, Bill Wirtz is rotting in the ground.
5. Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks
The 2002-2003 Canucks lived up to their names adding Branden Morrison, Dave Nonis, and Dave Babych's Mustache. Peter Skudra where have you gone?
4. Dallas Stars.
In Texas, there's are only steers (Mike Modano), and queers (Sean Avery, Mike Ribero). Brad Richards's position will be seen on whether he frost's his tips again
3. Edmonton Oilers
Sam Ganger was born after Gretzky was traded. Dwayne Roloson has been playing since Hitler annexed Poland.
2. San Jose Sharks
Joe Thornton can carry any team on his back. Too bad it gives out come April.
1. Detroit Red Wings
What do you get the team that has everything? How about the best free agent available. 29 other teams are royally screwed.
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